Silly Life Ambitions

Here’s a list of bucket list items that may or may not ever be achieved in my lifetime:

You know those construction cranes? The ones that suspend into unbelievable heights and just carry enormous amounts of… anything from place to place? They’re spectacular to look at when I drive anywhere. I’ve used a power saw, a power drill, and other tools already, but something about being in control of such a massive machine excites me. One day, someway and somehow, I want to be able to operate a construction crane. 

Flying in general is also a phenomenon I’m fascinated by. I love trips to the airport, and I love being on a plane even more. The thrill of being about two or three mechanical errors away from just falling out of the sky is exhilarating to my thrill seeking self. However, my bucket list goal isn’t to drop out of the sky in an airplane, but rather be able to pilot a plane or experienced controlled flying in some form or the other. I know skydiving is an option, but I’m thinking more like hang gliding. It looks truly majestic to just watch people jump off cliffs so gracefully and gliding through the air like big, beautiful birds. I want to be a big, beautiful bird.

Okay, something a little more practical. Lately, I’ve been really into cooking, and I’ve been slowly falling in love with vegetables because I’ve been cooking zucchini, carrots, sweet potatoes, mushrooms, bell peppers and more. I want to learn how to cook all the vegetables: yellow squash, cabbage, cauliflower, cucumbers, carrots, and all the rest. Recently, I’ve been intimidated by brussels sprouts due to their infamous reputation, but I’m determined to figure it out soon. This is low key a part of my journey to becoming vegan. Once I own my own apartment or house, I’ll have the opportunity to stock my pantry anew with more vegan friendly ingredients, and cooking vegan food will be much easier. For now, I have just been slowly trying to remove red meat from my diet. It’s actually not that hard, and I am in love with salmon and it’s versatility. It’s almost impossible to cook wrong besides overcooking it. This is also out of concern of my high cholesterol. So one day, hopefully I can adopt the vegan lifestyle. 

Really random… somehow I became obsessed with alpacas, and now they’re everywhere in my life. My friend got me a stuffed alpaca for my birthday. I have a mini alpaca on my keychain. I bought a freakin’ alpaca tapestry, and they misprinted the first one and sent me the actual one later. Now I have two alpaca tapestries. My friends gave me drawings of alpacas that I have hung up in my room. It’s a little ridiculous, but one day I simply want to go to an alpaca farm and just play with all of them.

Another hobby I enjoy doing besides blogging is actually singing. I’m probably pretty bad because I mostly sing on my own, but I never know if I’m actually good or not. One day, I may practice enough to be confident to sing in front of a relatively big audience. Whether it’s via Youtube or Facebook or an open mic, I want to sing for others and see how it goes. If I’m terrible, then I’ll be traumatized and never do it again. At least then I know for sure that I’m terrible. If it does go well though, I guess I may keep doing it because singing is something I secretly really enjoy.

This one came out of a previous long term relationship, but it’s definitely still something I can do on my own or with a future significant other. I want to see a sunrise and sunset on at least every continent. This ties my love for planes, travel, nature, and photography very well. I already explained my love for planes, but I also want to learn more about the world in general through travel. I want to open my mind to the different cultures and immense diversity there is in the world. There’s so much learning to be had, especially when you’ve lived in the vicinity of one state your entire life. Then, there’s my love for nature. There’s something absolutely magical about watching any kind of natural phenomenon. A sunrise. A sunset. Clouds slowly moving… a time lapse makes that one a bit easier to watch, and that’s based on my experience with photography and some videography. I really enjoy aesthetics in general, so photography is fun to experiment with. So yeah… I could do this bucket list item alone, but I do believe that this particular item would be more enjoyable with someone special.

The last one I can think of is to find that someone special … someone to watch sunsets with. I want to find a boy that really cares about me, my emotional well being, and my physical well being. Don’t get me wrong… I can definitely be an independent girl. However, there’s something so sweet about a boy that just wants to take care of his girl and love her as much as he can (I’m heterosexual, so I’ll use pronouns based on that but of course you can apply your own). 

I want a guy who wants to embrace me gently with his strong arms when I come home from a long day of school and work or when he gets home from work he just wants to give me a little kiss before anything else

A guy that comes up behind me when I’m cooking or washing dishes to wrap his arms around my waist and kisses me, and maybe even offer to cook or wash those dishes.

A guy that sees me napping on the couch and lets me sleep just a little longer before he knows he has to wake me up to move me to our bed.

A guy that lets me know that he thought about me today when he saw those sunflowers by the sidewalk or that ridiculous video of that alpaca leading other farm animals on ice.

A guy that texts back and (even better) texts first. I don’t care how long it takes, but as long as it’s within a reasonable timeframe. He could just not respond for a few hours because he’s hanging out with his buddies or playing video games, and I totally get it. But I just don’t want to be left hanging for days, when I know he had a minute or two here and there to just respond.

A guy that trusts me to hang out with guy friends without getting jealous because he knows that my love and care for him is above all of them. I just prefer hanging out with guys because sometimes girls are difficult to be around for me. I need him to understand that I have so much love and care to give out, but I will reserve the most intimate love and affection for him.

A guy that treats me as his equal. I do NOT need any sexist shit in this relationship. I want mutual respect from my partner, and understanding that my success and accomplishments should not be tied to the fact that I’m a woman. I work freakin’ hard, and I deserve the equal pay and respect just as much as the next girl.

A guy that takes care of me when I’m feeling physically ill. A guy that forces me to drink orange juice or Emergen-C and makes me go to bed because he knows I really need vitamins and rest to get better. He should also want to take care of me when I’m feeling mentally ill. A guy that knows what to say to combat my negative thoughts. Someone who knows how to remind me of how wonderful I am, and nurtures my self-confidence.

I want a guy that’s open minded. I make friendly conversation with  strangers constantly due to my strong faith in humanity to one day realize that we should only help each other live through this crazy, bold and beautiful thing called life. If he can’t be open minded enough to want to meet new people, and be unashamed to ask for help when he needs it then I can’t vibe with that. He should be smart enough to have a plan, but is flexible enough to go with the flow if life happens and his plan goes awry. I want some deliberate planning with care and consideration, but also enough spontaneity to keep it interesting. An intellectual man is a sexy man. I enjoy a man that can talk nerdy to me… statics, programming, vectors, biology, anatomy… ooh I love it all. Also, having intellectual and/or deep conversations are one of my favorite things to do. If he can’t keep up or is interested in doing that, again I can’t vibe with that. Smart and spontaneous.

Most of all, I just want a guy that has the emotional capacity to unapologetically love me. A guy that really wants to love me with all his heart and soul no matter who’s watching. I just want to feel his love deep within my soul, and really know that he would do anything for me.

I recognize that I have high standards, and I’m going to keep them high. I think settling for less compromises my well being, and I guess I’m still working out whether or not I want to abide by that for the rest of my life. I’m not sure if I’m okay with possibly ending up alone by the end of my life. But at the end of the day, I just want to find someone to love that loves me even more. 

This list is a bunch of silly life ambitions I have. Some seem very doable, and some are just silly. I believe that last one is the silliest of them all.

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